1. horse-ebook:

    deodrant:

    I spent $31 at an asian supermarket….

    how many asians did you get

    (via kianlawley)

     

  2. surprisebitch:

    when you’re babysitting and the kid won’t eat their veggies

    image

    (Source: surprisebitch, via too-stoned-to-remember)

     

  3. English beats up other languages in dark alleys, then rifles through their pockets for loose grammar and spare vocabulary.

    (Source: professorsparklepants, via memephase)

     
  4. cuntinentul:

    can someone make this a bumper sticker

    (Source: prom-night-dumpster-baby, via grilledbacon)

     

  5. inbox:

    why do teapots scream like wtf shut the hell up you piece of shit

    (via multipack)

     

  6. a-different-kind-of-royalty:

    "What do you plan to do with your future?"

    image

    (via hi)

     
  7.  

  8. reallyreallyreallytrying:

    “average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

    (via kianlawley)

     

  9. guceubcuesu:

    ianthony475:

    vworp-goes-the-tardis:

    older-aang:

    64kbps:

    my name backwards spells “disappointment and skin problems”

    nice to meet you, Smelborp Niks Dna Tnemtnioppasid

    You really shouldn’t put your full name on the internet, it’s not safe.

    I’m done

    Smelborp for president

    (Source: shalrath, via grilledbacon)

     

  10. cnnbreakingofficial:

    omg mom it’s JUST METH calm down

    (Source: 911official, via counting-starswithher)

     

  11. ostracizedpoodle:

    paradisaic:

    ostracizedpoodle:

    basketballs smell gross 

    go to hell??

    why are you defending the smell of a ball 

    (via hi)

     

    1. Me: ugh ive got a sore leg i better google whats wrong
    2. Google: Brain tumour with a life expectancy of 2 weeks good luck
     

  12. memyselfandhate:

    iamonlydorb:

    sucysucyfivedolla:

    the inside of your butt is warm enough to hardboil an egg

    oh no I’m not falling for this one again

    what

    (via swarnpert)

     
  13. dumpsterfetus:

    art

    (Source: tontoneti, via kianlawley)

     
  14.